Why Buddhists Have It Right

I had an epiphany this week. These are always a special treat but this week in particular got me thinking about the things in our lives we have to do.

Right now I am staying at home to look after our 6 month old baby. The other morning I got up and immediately starting rushing around. Let the dogs out and feed them, make the baby a bottle, make the 3 year old her morning porridge, eat some toast, make a coffee, do my workout, have a shower.... My day starts as a running list of all the things that have to be done before I can do what I want to do. It struck me that this might be a problem since these are the things that have to be done every day. Making dinner, putting the kids to bed with jammies and stories.....Laundry? All the time. Change the sheets? Every week (ahem). Cut the lawn? Sweep the floors? Clean the bathrooms? Do the dishes? Shop for groceries? The list is endless once you add in paying bills, Dr. and dental appointments, pet care, workouts, travel time, etc. These are the things we have to do that never get done for good. Once you do them, you know they have to be repeated at some time in the near future. I am exhausted just thinking about it.

For many of us, myself included with the exception of this year's maternity leave, this has to be done around our work schedule. I mean, holy crap, no wonder people are so tired and cranky. If you were to divide up the amount of hours for work, sleep, fun and home/family/personal care, I think a typical week would look something like this: Work - 50 hours; Sleep - 49 hours; Family/home/personal - 40; Leisure/fun/relaxation - 29. This means that only 17% of our time is spent doing things that are not obligatory! Just for the record, I am including commute and lunch time in the work hours and workouts in the personal (the fact that staying fit is considered optional is a problem all by itself!). If that's the case and we know that work, sleep and home/family obligations are part of an endless cycle, why do we torment ourselves with the endless drive toward enjoying the things for which we have the least amount of time?

This is where the Buddhists come in. Consider that time spent in a monastery is made up almost completely of sleep, work and meditation. Where is the leisure time? When do the monks get to have fun? The answer is: They are having fun all the time! This is a shocking idea to those of us who go through our day checking off lists and waiting for that moment when we can sit down, exhausted, and just relax. I am horribly guilty of this offense. I realized it the other day when I was rushing around to get morning stuff done and it occurred to me that I didn't really have a reason to rush. I had no appointments and I didn't have to get to the office. What was the rush? I am in a unique position right now to take my time and spread tasks out through the day and the week. I don't have to rush around most of the time, but I do anyway. And when I am working, it's even worse. I'm sure you have all heard the Buddhist philosophy of being present in the moment, yet how many of us actually are? We move through the day like zombies, arms outstretched ready to devour the next obligatory moment, then reward ourselves with little reprieves at the end of the day. It's not that surprising that our nerves are a little frayed by Friday.

I often wonder what would become of me if I became a millionaire. I know I would hire people to look after all the things I don't want to do; a cook, a maid, a driver, etc. But what would I actually do with all the extra time? Even I can only spend so much time reading. I would travel a lot but even that would get old after a while. I would like to think that I would spend time doing things that add value like volunteering or setting up charities  but I don't really know for sure. I can't imagine that having nothing on your plate but leisure time can be good for our mental and spiritual health. I equate it to the theory that we can't truly know joy if we have never known sorrow. If you never have something to do, you can't possibly appreciate having nothing to do. That being said, I am not a millionaire so I have to work with what I've got.

Seriously. Once a moment has passed, it has passed. You don't get it back. Doesn't it make sense to get the most out of it while it's happening? It's like we are all addicts. We are so focused on our next fix we don't know what is happening right now!

Ok, rant over. It's obvious I am in desperate need of finding my inner Buddha. I am fine with that; there are far worse things in life.

By rushing through my day, I am guaranteeing that I miss out on most of it. The false sense of accomplishment I feel is nothing more than a way to justify the time I need to recuperate from my own insanity. Knowing that 83% of my day is spent doing things that must be done and are an integral part of the human condition (at least in North America), why do I insist on turning them into negative experiences? If I didn't spend most of my day rushing around and treating everything I did like an obligation, would I be  as exhausted by 8 pm? I don't think so. I am going to put this to the test. I am going to attempt to bring some awareness into how I spend my day. When I catch myself rushing to get something done, I will stop for a moment, centre myself and carry on with my task. The Buddhists figured this out over 2000 years ago and yet we are still running around like beheaded chickens trying to make sense of it all and catch up with our heads. This is partly frustrating and partly inspiring. Even though I haven't gotten there yet, at least I know it's possible and that gives me hope.